Mystery Wash

This month I was accepted into a study to test a new face wash.  I’ve got the whole being white thing going for me in Tokyo, and after making 200 dollars to wear and critique eye fold tape in the fall, I thought I wouldn’t mind making 300 dollars to wash my face twice a day (even if I had to promise to swear off face whitening lotions for the duration of the study). At the preliminary examination, the scientists? wore white lab coats in a room with no windows and one said, “It’s a difficult case,” and the other one said, “yes, difficult,” but one rated me a 0-1 and the other rated me a 0-2, and I guess I had what they were looking for, pastiness? blotchiness? underlying redness? Who cares, I was flattered, And I was all set to go back and wash my face with the mystery wash in front of them for more money, but my uncle died, (at a max stop in Portland).  I had to go back to the U.S.  Very little about this was all that funny, except that my cousin told me that when they were cleaning out my uncle’s stuff, my aunt–who was a flight attendant in the 60’s, wears bright red lipstick, and sometimes speaks in tongues (never seen it, just heard about it)–kept calling one of the guys who lived in my uncle’s group home, Tito. My cousin said that guy kept saying, my name’s not Tito, I’m Polish, but as they were deciding what to keep and throwing the rest of my uncle’s stuff out, my Aunt kept referring  with confidence to my uncle’s roommate, for some inexplicable reason, as Tito. Another sad/funny thing happened while I was back in the U.S.: I went to a chain Mexican place and ordered a super burrito by myself. But it was so large it was taking me a really long time to eat it, so I was thinking while I was eating, and those thoughts made me cry a little, but I just kept eating while I cried, and I finished the super burrito. So that’s where I’m at.  Finally, I  found out I was kicked out of the skin study because I couldn’t keep my appointment at the face wash headquarters. I guess it’s cool though, because they told me I don’t have to send back the (mystery) face wash.


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