I picked up a little job reviewing hotels during my summer break in Bangkok, Kuala Lampur, and Singapore.

The catch, besides the fact that I’m paying for my own flight, and hardly making money for this, is that I have to take along a secondary reviewer.

So I’m taking my friend from Brisbane, and  by taking I mean she’s paying her own way and making even less than me. So I should be grateful to her, but when I’m on skype with her, gratitude is not usually what I’m feeling.

About my friend and secondary reviewer: When she had to write a trial review, she reviewed a feminist women’s circus she’s taking classes with.  Also about my friend, she moves even slower than me, which is glacial. Like I’m 90% sure she can’t juggle. Not even with scarves.

So here are some of the things she has told me while we’re Skyping and trying to get ready for this trip which involves three excel lists of hotels in three countries and two pretty tight deadlines:

1. Today she had a garage sale because she’s trying to get money together, and she sold a yo-yo with no string, a jean vest, a psychedelic looking pipe, and a cook book.  She made $12.

2. She thinks she and her roommate’s cat are on the same wave length.  She has been focusing the camera on her roommate’s cat a lot. Sometimes the cat head-butts her in her sleep, she says, and she butts the cat back.

3. She bought something for the trip called a You Go, Girl.  This way she can stand up when she pees. (and smell like urine the whole trip?) That’s my question, not hers.

4. She’s bringing a wrap.  And it’s fancy. According to my friend and secondary reviewer if you wear it over clothing it makes clothing look more fancy. I asked her what was on it and she did have to take off the button in support of a squat she used to squat at in Europe.  So I should stop worrying, people are totally going to believe that we’re staying at the Four Season’s.

5. She’s not rolling her eyes when I try to talk about the hotel lists, it’s just that lately if she moves her eyes a little they just shoot off in the back of her head.

So I think we’re pretty much ready to get started.  She takes off in three days. And I think we’ve got the most important things nailed down.  She’s got a cat’s vibe, a wrap, $12, a You go, Girl, and no control over her eye balls. So I’m psyched to get started, I can’t imagine what else we would need.