I made it to Bangkok. So I got up early and went out to review a hotel. A room wasn’t ready to look at, so I went up to the rooftop pool to wait. It was beautiful. An Australian guy came to look at the pool and the view with his arm around a Thai woman. He […]
Author Archives: Emily
The thing about junior high is that they’re the same ages, but they’re totally different sizes and at different stages of development. It’s rainy season and everyone’s sweaty, but lots of the boys walk around with their arms around each other’s necks and shoulders. Some of them look mismatched like a bull mastiff in love […]
A teacher at school confiscated a shiv from some second year boys. I really want it. You just don’t see craftsmanship like that anymore. It’s wooden and all hand made, and when you consider the level of education and abilities of the craftsmen, the concentration on detail is outstanding. They made it with xacto knifes, […]
I have two million dollar ideas: one is called the study muzzle and the other is called the study funnel. I will say, “It’s time to take out your study muzzles and funnels,” and, “put your study muzzles and study funnels on.” And then all my students will put a muzzle on their little snouts […]
I picked up a little job reviewing hotels during my summer break in Bangkok, Kuala Lampur, and Singapore. The catch, besides the fact that I’m paying for my own flight, and hardly making money for this, is that I have to take along a secondary reviewer. So I’m taking my friend from Brisbane, and by […]
It’s irritating when people have children or teach school and then all they do is talk about that. But then you accidentally have a toddler or end up teaching adolescents in an island country, and then out of the incessant boredom, something happens, and then you want to share that because you think it’s funny, […]
On Friday I taught with a teacher who tried to shame three classes of completely unshameable students. It wasn’t pretty. The kids wear these polyester track suits and their chairs are slick, so they routinely fall out of their seats, and then they just get back on them. They’re those kind of kids. They’re first […]
On Skype tonight wrapping up a conversation with an elderly lady United Attendant about travel using my frequent flyer miles: Me: Okay, well, Thank you. United Employee: Uh hungh, okay. Me: I really appreciate it. United employee: Okay, Uh hugh, I Love you. Me: Good bye. United Employee: Good bye.
There’s a teacher at the school I’m working at who falls asleep at his desk in between teaching classes. He rests his hands on his breasts and tries to lean his his head on his shoulder. He also has a rounded pelvis and little legs. I try not to think it because he’s left little snacks […]
Big News: I’m going to be in the Guinness book of world records, and I didn’t even have to do anything disgusting, friends. I’m going to be in it for doing the most continuous yoga postures with the most people (in the shape of a heart) in the world! If eight year old Emily could […]
emily maloney 